Saturday, September 12, 2009

4th of July 2009

Allo all you patriots out there, Ooh I love a good patriot. A bit of Mel or Heath (god rest) always goes down the right way. Anyway, It’s Aunty Lyds here, doin’ the rounds as it were. And I’ve been getting the biz on this 4th of July you Americans all seem gung-ho over. I’ve been asking lots of people around campus to give me the low down and so far we’ve got fireworks, sparklers, fairground rides, outdoorsy stuff and grilling. This sounds like you all copied one of our British holidays, Bonfire Night/Guy Fawkes Night.

So whass Bonfire Night all about I hear you mutter? Keep yer knickers on, Aunty Lyds was just getting to that. Here’s the biz. Back in 1605, a small group of extremists, well to be honest they were terrorists opposing the kings harsh treatment of the Catholics. Anyway, these blokes tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament and in turn bump off the king, possibly the Prince of Wales and a gaggle of parliament members, bless, now that’s independence. So they get together and fill the cellars below the Houses of Parliament with gunpowder, but before they get anywhere someone gets cold feet and tips off ‘is Majesty. So on November 5th Mr. King an’ all ‘is mates go off to the cellars and try catchin’ em in the act. The only geezer they find is Guy Fawkes and about 37 barrels of gunpowder. If I were Guy, I’d be well gutted, and that leads me to the next bit. It’s hung (titter), drawn an’ quartered time for Guy Fawkes and everyone (well most everyone, the Catholics weren’t too happy) gives a cheer and sets bonfires everywhere to celebrate a near miss. Phew.

Well nowadays, to celebrate that great day of independence from Catholics and terrorism, every 5th of November us Brits ‘ave our fill of fireworks, sparklers, fairground rides, outdoorsy stuff and grilling. But not the grilling of hot dogs an’ burgers, mind you I love a big sausage more than the next, but we chuck an effigy of old Guy Fawkes on the bonfire. That happens all around Britain. Even the kids join in by stuffing old clothes with newspaper and making scarecrow-esque dolls which they cart around in wheelbarrows begging money for the ‘Guy’ their gonna burn later in the day (tear). Ooh I think I’m havin’ a patriotic moment.

The only reason I bring all this up is that when I asked people about 4th July, no one said anything about the day us Brits got our independence from you lot. Shame. Laters all, and come Independence Day, have a sausage for me. Lav ya.

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